Lost in the Supermarket
by Unread-Letters
Summary: Jeff and Annie go grocery shopping for Shirley's birthday party and are having a hard time being around each other. Takes place about a month after the season finale. Rated T for language.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot, that's all mine. Everything else belongs to Dan Harmon and NBC. "Lost in the supermarket" belongs to the Clash, from their album **_**London Calling.**_

**Author's Note: In order to kill some time before the fall season starts I came up with this little ditty. And yes, I admit, it's pretty cheesy. Any questions, comments or concerns are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!**

**Lost in the Supermarket**

**By: UnreadLetters**

"_I've got some things to say to you that are better left unspoken…Can't go back to what it was or say that we weren't warned." The Ergs!_

Jeff had never been to Costco and as he pulled into the aforementioned parking lot, he was hoping that he would never have to be. He turned off the ignition and returned both hands to the steering wheel, while looking over to the girl—woman? Girlwoman? Lady? Whatever she was…Annie. Just Annie. Anyway, he looked over at Annie with what he hoped was an innocent smile.

"So how about I just wait in the car? Or I could even come back and pick you up."

Annie crossed her arms with a huff, "Come on, Jeff, you know I need help."

"It's only Shirley's birthday, Annie. It's not like it's Thanksgiving or anything," he shrugged then placed his hands back on the wheel. "I really don't understand why you couldn't go to a normal grocery store...by yourself." He added the last part as an undertone but she had heard him anyway.

"Because her entire family, well the ones who are Team Shirley, are coming!" Annie's voice was reaching that point where she goes from loud talking to screeching and she started doing the arm wave thing. "And you know my car's in the shop and I need help getting stuff from the tall shelves and I have a whole list to buy!" She pulled out a small pocket notebook and flipped through at least four pages. "And you're the only one who could help me and…and…" she was dry heaving and sniffling.

"All right! Fine. I'll come in. Geeze, Disney." He took his hands off the wheel begrudgingly, ignoring the sweet smile she was giving him. All the while mumbling to himself, "way to go, Winger. Now you're being a douche. I blame this on you, Costco."

He attempted to put his best face foreword but after an hour when only one-third on the gargantuan aisles had been tackled, Jeff's best face was being replaced with a furrowed brow and a cut on his tongue from biting it. He leaned his tall frame over the handle of the shopping cart and pushed slowly behind Annie as she was scanning party plates, asking his opinion. He propped an elbow on the edge of the baby seat where Annie had placed her purse, rested his chin in his hand, and answered with an eyebrow raise and a quizzical, "hmmm?"

"What color do you think Shirley would like?" She stood on her tiptoes and tapped ones that were labeled as "raspberry" "or those lime ones over there?" she pointed to baby vomit green ones three rows over. "Or the gold? I think gold would be nice."

He sighed but couldn't stop himself from smiling at her. "I don't know, Annie. Doesn't Shirley like purple?"

Annie's mouth made an "O" and she pointed with a flick of her pencil at him. "That's right! Grape Grandeur it is then!" She said excitedly as she looked at the purple paper plates, two rows above her head.

Jeff watched for a few seconds as she stood as far as she could on her tiptoes and extended her right arm until it was almost out of its socket. He was momentarily distracted by the way her shirt rode slowly up to her ribs, exposing her stomach when she hopped a little, knocking over the plates just below the purple ones.

"Damnit!" She whispered to herself. Jeff smirked and walked over; picking up the fallen plates and easily putting them back on the shelves.

"Which ones do you want? The purple ones?" He raised his hand and pointed to the color.

"Yeah, those, please." She gave him a wide smile that he returned. He pulled down a few packages followed by matching cups and napkins.

"So we got everything, then?" He asked hopefully.

"We still need table clothes and chips and pretzels and…" She was walking away while he was zoning out, trying to focus on anything but her.

It had been almost a month since what would become know as "the kiss" and he wasn't quite sure what he was doing, anymore. Nothing had come of it, except an awkward cup of coffee where Annie blurted out that it didn't mean anything and he found himself nodding and agreeing because it seemed like the right thing to do. Still, he tried not to be around her one-on-one too much because there was still something about those great big eyes of hers and that little mouth of hers and, Jesus, why was he reminding himself off the big bad wolf? She didn't even wear red that much.

But somehow, and he still wasn't sure how, he had gotten roped into helping out with Shirley's birthday extravaganza. This wasn't his thing. He hated grocery shopping, hated it, and especially hated it on a busy Sunday, following someone else around. Even if that someone else had on a new pair of jeans that made her ass look...well… And somehow that made everything worse.

He wheeled the cart behind her as she read the label for vegan hotdogs. "So why couldn't Britta help?" He asked trying to keep the annoyance from his voice.

"She doesn't believe in mega superstores." She said matter-of-factly as she threw a package of tofudogs in the cart.

"And Pierce?" he asked as he trailed behind her.

"Doesn't believe men should go grocery shopping." She opened another freezer door.

Jeff snorted a laugh to himself but saw the corner of Annie's lips turn up at the noise. "How about Troy and Abed?"

"They're working on the invites and decorations." She sounded a little exasperated and Jeff thought it best not to delve deeper into that one.

"Didn't Shirley want to help?" He really wasn't expecting the reaction he had gotten from that question.

She whirled around and threw a package of ground beef in the cart before stomping her left foot.

"Because it's her birthday, Jeff!" She was trying to keep her voice down and was resorting to whispering shouts that slowly became louder and shriller with every word. "You know, if you didn't want to come along then you should have said something! I didn't realize this would have been such an inconvenience for you!"

"Annie, I didn't mean it like…" He started to apologize but she had was walking again, this time pulling the cart behind her. Her back was to him but she was still shouting, "Why don't you just go wait in the car!"

He stood there dumbfounded for what felt like forever until her heard a buzzing noise next to him. He looked to see an ancient old man in on of those motorized wheelchair/carts. The old man patted Jeff lightly on the arm and gestured in an equally ancient woman at the end of the aisle.

"Been married almost 60 years this year." The man said solemnly.

"That's…nice?" Jeff said with a confused look on his face.

"Took me the first 40 to realize that I shouldn't ask questions."

"Huh?" Jeff wasn't processing anything, shifting his eyes back and forth trying to remember what direction Annie had gone in.

"How long you and your wife been married?" The old man asked.

"She's not my…" but Jeff couldn't bring himself to answer focusing only on the fact that the old man had assumed they were together.

"Couple months?" The man pushed on and Jeff felt himself nodding. "Word of advice: If you love her, just do everything she says. Helps avoid fights in the grocery store and the airport and the hardware store." From the distance, Jeff heard a woman shouting what sounded like "Stanley." Stanley patted Jeff on the arm and wheeled away.

Jeff shook his head contemplating what the man said before sprinting out of the aisle and looking for Annie. He had gone through another third of the store and had found deep purple tablecloths but still so Annie. He admitted that he probably looked ridiculous carrying bright purple tables cloths and running all over Costco but it really didn't matter how he looked anymore. He finally found her examining the largest bag of cheese curls he had ever seen and her eyes widened a little as he dumped the tablecloths in the cart and double over trying to catch his breath.

"Ran…through….whole…store…say…sorry…ass...found….purple." He coughed a little and slowly pulled himself up.

She was staring at him dumbfounded, the cheese curls hanging loosely in her hand. She finally smiled and walked over to him, wrapping her thin arms around his waist.

"What's that for?" He asked as he rubbed her back, mentally repeating his mantra of "keep it cool, Winger…Bill O'Reily naked" in his head.

She looked up at him with those Bambi eyes of hers and sniffled, "I'm sorry, Jeff. I…well…I shouldn't have forced you to come."

"No, I…Listen Annie," he placed both hands on her shoulders and held her at arm's length, "as much as I hate this place, I really didn't want to come because…well…I think it's a bad idea that we hang out just us." He bit his bottom lip, waiting for her to answer but when tears started welling in her eyes, he started stammering, "Not that I don't want to. It's just that I can't get my mind off of you and I know we agreed that everything would go back to normal but for me it can't and I know you what to move on and it's just easier for me to keep my distance because all this relationship shit scares me so much and I don't want you to get hurt Annie and I don't want to be that creepy older guy who can't keep his eyes off you…and the things I would do…." he gulped. "Well, you get the idea." His hands dropped from her shoulders while his own shoulders hunched in what looked like defeat.

Annie sniffled and whipped at her eyes but he noticed that she was smiling and it was getting wider by the second. "You really think those things…about that?" A blush was creeping on her cheeks. "Not just that…you know all those things?"

He nodded seriously. "All the time. I thought it'd be easier if you weren't around but it's actually gotten worse. Jesus, I am creepy."

Annie hiccupped and giggled but was still smiling. She placed her small hand on his bicep and rubbed the inside of his arm with her thumb. "I thought it was just me…" she swallowed. "…who felt that way."

"That I'm creepy?" he asked but a crooked smile was beginning to form on his face.

She laughed lightly. "No, lots of people think that." They both laughed. "You're not creepy and…well…and… I think about you all the time. I flipped out earlier because it's hard for me to be around you when you don't, well when I thought you didn't, want to be around me."

"So…you do want me around, right? And I want you around. But this friends' thing really isn't working out." Annie nodded and Jeff raised an eyebrow thoughtfully. "So, how about we just stop being friends all together."

"But, Jeff I want to be -"He shushed her and placed his index finger over her mouth. She smiled.

"Maybe we can try something else, something different." He locked his eyes with hers and waited while she thought it through. She kissed his knuckle sweetly and nodded.

He swiftly broke the space between them, bent down, and kissed her with as much feeling as he had the night of "the kiss." However, as the kiss deepened, one kiss turned into many and before he knew it, he was pushing her against the shelves, ignoring the crinkling sound of plastic, and lifting her up slightly off the ground.

When they heard a slight cough behind them, they froze immediately. He had both hands on her hips, her shirt riding up over them with her right leg wrapped around his own, with one arm at the nape of her neck and the other playing dangerously at the waist of his jeans. He lowered her slowly to the ground and turned to see where the cough had come from.

The old woman from before humphed as she weaved behind them and grabbed a now crinkled bag of chips before beckoning Stanley to follow her. One his way past Jeff and Annie, Stanley winked and saluted.

"Now that," Annie said smoothing down her t-shirt, "is a creepy old man."

Jeff laughed and ran a hand through his hair, "he's a friend of mine."

"Well, it's time you got some new friends," she said wryly as she made her way back to the cart. "You know, since you and I aren't friends anymore…" she looked thoughtful as she made her way back to the cart then her eyes widened with terror. "Oh my god! Jeff! What are we going to tell everyone?"

He walked up beside her and placed an arm around her shoulders. He took her to-do list out of her purse and flipped through it slowly before putting it back and smiling, "Well, we have at least two more pages to figure it out." He ran his hand over her back. "Now, didn't you say something about pretzels?"

**The End**


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